Saturday, April 21, 2012

Playdead: Limbo

Limbo is scary. I'm not talking the west-Indian dance in which the dancer bends backwards in order to pass under a wooden pole, which is progressively lowered, although that can be scary, too. Do you watch Futurama? You know Hermes Conrad? He used to be a professional limboer, but quit after a young boy died trying to limbo like Hermes. Poor kid!

Speaking of dead children, let me get back to my original topic: Limbo, realm of unbaptized souls. I hear you asking, "Someone made a game about dead, unbaptized children?" Yeah. Yep. Someone did. It was the Danes. Mmmhm.

But gee, I sure am glad I didn't stuck there forever, like poor Limbo Boy. Poor Limbo Boy! He's too damned cute! But he just keeps getting impaled by spiders and poison-darted by meany other limbo boys and squashed and drowned and crushed and sawed in half and exploded and spiked and brainwormed (just think about what a brainworm entails for a moment) and otherwise violently exterminated. All exterminations come with all the yucky sound effects of breaking bones, and squoochy bloody messes, free of charge! 
look out for the brainworm...

That said, this game is FUCKING RAD.

Maybe, if you're squirmy like me, you should play it with a friend because I certainly had to turn it off a couple times, around 2AM, on account of all the creepy, gorey, violent surprises. Sometimes it is dark and foggy and you can't really see, so you run around because if you walk it gets boring, and even though the eery silence tells you something AWFUL is about to happen, you just keep running until right into an electrified post and sizzle, or someone throws a spear at you, or you fall into a tiny pool of water and drown (I guess Limbo boy died before he learned how to swim). On the plus side, you can die as much as you want/have to. You just keep coming back. Maybe this is just another cruel form of torture imposed upon the poor, child inhabitants of Limbo. But it's also helpful, because I die a lot in every game I play, and I appreciate when the game doesn't tell me I suck. I already know that, guys. I don't need it written in some wittily sarcastic phrase below a big, menacing skull accompanied by some doomy-dooms day music, okay? Okay. So, thank you Playdead.

But damn. This game is pretty sick. Sick like cool and sick like gross. And graphics get an A+. And gameplay is glitch-free and challenging. And the puzzles are always interesting enough to make you want to solve them without a walkthrough. And Limbo boy is super cute. I just liked it bunches and bunches.

My rating
I could:
A. What?
B. Take it.
C. Leave it.

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